Here I Am! - Essay 1

or, a study on people who say “Here I Am!” to God and when God says “Here I Am!” to his people.

“And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 

‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ 

Then I said, ‘Here I am! Send me.’” 

Isaiah 6:8

It is perhaps a Western phenomenon to always be achieving, always succeeding, always growing. There is an ingrained – and sometimes parasitic – drive in us to always keep our eyes on the horizon; we are on the lookout for expected success, yes, but also for unexpected opportunities. We don’t want to be caught in a place unready for the unpredictable. We don’t want to get married before we’re comfortable with commitment. We don’t want to have kids until we’re financially stable. We don’t want to change jobs, move cities, relocate churches until some ambiguous sense of readiness settles upon us – and I don’t know about you, but this feeling seems elusive at best. The “here” where we all live has become a perpetual stepping stone to bigger and better things. We never seem to arrive, though, do we? 

This context in which we live is totally at odds with God and scripture. Because as important as marriage and parenthood and moving is, it is dwarfed by the importance of hearing God call you in the first place, and having to respond saying, “Here I am!” It’s not that we ought to throw caution to the wind and be bad stewards of our earthly responsibilities; it’s more about letting go of our imaginary control and being present. 

If there is any consistency in the Bible about people who say “Here I am!” to God it’s that they are all totally unprepared for the call. They misunderstand, argue, question, and fear him. In 1 Samuel 3, the young prophet Samuel wakes up to someone calling his name in the night; Samuel mishears the voice, and assumes it is his mentor and teacher, Eli. After this misunderstanding happens a few times, Eli understands what is going on: God is calling his young protegé. Samuel had no experience talking with God. He is just a boy, after all. How could he alone discern the voice? 

The only other thing modern Americans do better than prepare is lead excessively individualistic lives. Not only do we have to be five steps ahead of the Game of Life, but we have to do it alone. It makes sense. I mean, we could be let down, betrayed, judged, or discouraged if we share our journeys with others. But I don’t think we could have a more narcissistic or damaging perspective than this. God himself operates in a trinitarian relationship with the Son and the Holy Spirit. And even if that doesn’t make sense to you (God doesn’t have to make sense), it should at least teach you that the importance of “who” precedes the importance of “where.” 

Samuel would have continued missing God’s call in his life without help. Samuel would not have said “Here I Am!” to God without advice. 1 Samuel 3:19-20 goes on to tell us, “Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground. And all Israel … knew that Samuel was established as a prophet of the Lord.” The product of Samuel’s presence and obedience was a life of purpose, empowerment, and closeness to God. And Samuel did for another young man what Eli did for him. Whether you’ve heard of David and Goliath from Sunday school, seminary, or just as a cultural reference, you’d know David is important in the Christian narrative in more ways than his slingshot skills. Samuel is the person who influenced David and discerned his calling; he anointed David as King. 

One small act of obedience from a place of unpreparedness led to kings being anointed and battles fought and won. Do you think Samuel thought he was ready when he said “Here I am!” to God’s call? He was young and untested, but that is neither a weakness to God nor an obstacle. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “[God’s] power is made perfect in weakness.” Perhaps the next time you don’t feel ready for what God may be calling you to do, and you desperately hope you don’t have to say “Here I am!”, you will look around in what the world perceives as weakness and know that it may actually be the right place. There is really no arrival in faith apart from salvation; you are already loved, you already have a purpose. You don’t need to be ready – and in fact you never will be – for God to call you. All you must be is present.